aKidura

revelations

Had a very tiring day yesterday, but the end-result was a turning point in my life. You know when sometimes your life has its ups and downs? Well, yesterday was down since the beginning of the day. A lot of questions went through my head, deep frustrations and sadness suddenly burst out in the afternoon. Frustrated with the unfairness of everything, sad that I couldn't save or change someone I love...because I know I don't have the power to help someone who doesn't want to be helped, even though I've done my best. Anyway, after the long and hard cry, I felt relieved somehow because everything was let out. :) You need a good cry once in a while, you know?

Then last night, I met up with an old friend at the Megamall Starbucks. Had a long chat with her and that conversation lifted this huge burden off my shoulders. All the things she said was like a revelation. Syukur alhamdulillah, Allah tunjuk satu penjelasan yg Bie perlukan selama 2 bulan ni...berkat sungguh bulan Ramadhan. :) I'd like to thank her so very much for taking the time from her busy schedule to meet me and listen to what I had to share. I'm eternally grateful for all that she's done. :)

As for the sajak, I've decided to take it off the journal for the time being. But I'd like to point out something. For me, "hate" is too strong a word. I've never hated anyone in my life. I think you should not hate the person, rather hate his/her bad character or personality or what not because the character/personality of that person is what molds the person. So...I'd like to say this: Haszlee, as much as I want to hate you, I can't. What I feel for you now is compassion because you don't want to realize what you've done and open your heart to the truth. What we had together was so good, but you threw everything away to satisfy your selfish needs. Now no one can help you except yourself. Maybe one day you will open your eyes and insaf, and I just hope when that time comes, it would not be too late for you to ask for His forgiveness...and also mine.